Quote: “Frustration can either be a source of power, or it can be an excuse that drains my power.”
What is it that propels me forward and leads me toward making meaningful progress?
- A curiosity about the real potential (what’s possible)
- Irritation (being pissed) about my lack of progress
Right now, I’m playfully irritated.
What that means is, I feel frustration in my bones about how some people I see are making faster business progress than I am, while also finding my frustration to be somewhat humorous and helpful.
Why is it humorous & helpful?
Because I see the “problem vs. opportunity” paradigm. I can see how my lack of progress in comparison to others can either be a reason to give up and quit, or it can be a reason to learn and grow. That’s funny to me.
- The frustration can either be a source of power, or it can be an excuse that drains my power.
The Proper Comparison
Also, what’s a bit comical, is the nature of comparison. Sure, I can compare to people behind me or ahead of me, but the question is: “Where do I want to go? Backwards or forwards?”
Maybe some readers are wondering, “But wait, I thought we weren’t supposed to compare ourselves with others.”
Here’s the thing:
If you want to grow, you have to compare where you are to where you’d like to be. We find examples of where we’d like to be by looking at examples (others) and by getting honest about what’s genuine and sincere within us.
What you don’t want to do, is:
Compare your worth and value, as if your current degree of progress, compared to someone else, means you’re less or more worthy. This will add a degree of painful seriousness, which is similar to believing the points in the game actually mean something about you. Rather than remember that the real point of the game is to enjoy the game.
Curiosity about Real Potential
This is fascinating to me, how I can either push away the success and growth that I see other people having, or I can pull their success into my experience and learn from it.
Please take note of this. You can push them away, or pull them close.
- If you push away, which is to judge, criticize, and make excuses, then you have zero chance of learning anything that would help you make similar progress.
- If you pull them close, you can examine the small or major details about what they are doing, that could possibly be integrated into what you’re doing.
What I love about seeing people who have made more progress than I do is it tells me that it’s possible. They are doing something that I haven’t done yet or haven’t learned how to do.
The Cost of Not Learning
What is it costing you, to not learn and grow? And…
- How many stupid excuses do you have, for not doing everything you can to focus on learning the important things that will truly help you get to where you want to go?
You know what also happens, in the spirit of stupid excuses? We tell ourselves comforting stories about how we don’t want what we actually do want, so we can avoid potential failures; which is also an attempt to protect our precious ego and remain in our uncomfortable comfort zone.
Ouch! But true!
For illustration purposes…
you’re paying $100,000 per year, by not knowing how to make $100,000 per year.
The only thing that separates you from $100,000 per year, is the knowledge and skill set that knows how to do it. This is something that is learned, through giving it your focused attention.
This is referred to as “The Ignorance Tax”
We are all paying HUGE taxes that steal our potential because we are, essentially, lying to ourselves about what’s really important.
You can replace the dollar amount with the quality of experiences.
I’m experiencing a shitty relationship because I haven’t invested in the knowledge and skills to have an amazing relationship.
In the money example, though, really look at that. Change it if you need to, and have it be a million dollars.
I mentioned $100,000 since I’m writing to new or struggling solopreneurs, and maybe we need to start small, and that small amount is more realistic to you.
What’s the value it could bring to your life… to be able to LEARN how to make $100,000 per year by… loving people? Does that value include not having to work for someone else, having your time back, saving for XYZ, removing financial fears, etc.?
Not to mention, that 100k x’s 10 years, is 1 million. What’s the value of learning how to make 1 million in 10 years?
I have to be direct and honest with myself. Yes, the excuses I see myself coming up with, are… absolutely stupid. Excuses about why I can’t learn, why I can’t make progress, why I can’t do whatever is necessary to “REDUCE” my ignorance tax.
All Stupid Excuses fall into 3 categories:
- I don’t have the time (dumb)
- I don’t have the money (dumb)
- I don’t have the ability or skills (dumb)
I call them ALL dumb because believing in these excuses separates you from the real potential.
What all these excuses are saying is:
It’s not important to me
- I don’t have the time
- Really? What if it transformed your life and added immense value to those around you? You’d make time, or find a way to make it work with the time you do have.
- I don’t have the money.
- Really? What if you put in X amount, and got 10 x’s back with no risk? You’d find X amount, somehow and some way. How much money are you spending on stupid shit that doesn’t add “real” value to your life; just helps you hide?
- I don’t have the ability or skills
- Really? Isn’t that the reason why you should, rather than the reason why you shouldn’t? How else are you going to learn and develop those skills?
A Massive Shift in Priorities
What I’m talking about here, is a massive shift in priorities.
As it relates to building a solopreneur business, it’s a shift from…
- This is a hobby of mine, and it might work out; fingers crossed!
- This is why I’m alive (to learn and grow), this is what I’m here to do, and it’s the only option.
I have to figure this out, and that is why it’s going to work.
This is also like saying…
“I have to take responsibility for my experience and stop lying to myself. I have to be more honest about the opportunity I have.”
It is wonderful how quickly things can shift and move after we make decisions like these. I have seen it happen time and time again, both for myself and for those I work with. There is a “Holy Shit” moment when a decision is made, and it is almost as if the universe starts to validate the heartfelt decision.
It is almost as if life were just waiting for me to get honest with myself and make a decision.
In doing so, all of our priorities shift. We lose interest in distractions that avoid failure, and we dive into a life of deep learning, profound growth, and meaningful progress.
We, literally, become a different version of ourselves…
- The version that CAN, rather than
- …the version that can not.