Sometimes You Have to Vomit

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No matter how “spiritual” you are… when you gotta puke, you gotta puke 🤮

For some reason, this experiential lesson from this past Saturday is a lesson I find to be incredibly powerful.

This photo below was taken on my journey to a tiny island off the coast of Portugal, and was just moments before I found myself uncontrollably vomiting into a plastic bag.

The lesson was this: Sometimes the body (or human experience) reacts in ways that you don’t want, or ways that are deeply uncomfortable, however… it just has to happen and that’s okay.

boat ride portugal photo

It’s so easy to assume that these reactions “should not” happen, or we think that somehow we are beyond them and we should have more control, YET… the only real issue is all the self-judgment about the experience and not the experience itself.

I want to dive more deeply into this below, but here are some updates first. 

It didn’t take long after leaving the dock that I found myself feeling dizzy and nauseous from bouncing around on the waves (of life 😂).  I was doing what I could to be still and not resist the motion and to flow with it, allowing it to be a meditative exercise and watching the experience.

Sure, there was the thought that I could somehow control myself and not get sick. Yea, that didn’t last long.

What I noticed in my observation was the thought that if I got sick, then it meant I was doing something wrong, while also noticing the idea/belief that getting sick meant something about me.  What I ‘wanted’ to avoid, was the meaning I was giving “being sick.” I wanted to avoid the self-judgment, through controlling the physical experience.

However, the reality of the physical experience didn’t mean what I was projecting it to mean. So, the judgment wasn’t really there to begin with, I was trying to avoid something in reality that wasn’t really in reality. This only created tension and fear about something that was never happening.

Naturally, to see this, invited a playful relaxation and the allowing of myself to truly flow with what was happening.  As I began vomiting 🤮 in the plastic bag, I watched my mind think about what other people were thinking. If there was any belief in those thoughts, then self-judgment and tension (fear) would return. To see how there was no self-judgment other than the judgment I created, allowed the experience to be empty. As in… 😂 it didn’t mean anything at all.

I was free to create meaning about it, but that doesn’t mean it means that. It was just happening. Why? Well, because of the most innocent of reasons; because it is what it is, but… it’s not what I think it is.

You see, my friend, it’s not about what happens in yourself or in Life. It’s about… how you see what happens. Do you see self-judgment (fear), or, do you see an adorable innocence (Love)?

What you experience… is not what happens, but how you see what happens (Love or Fear).

SO OFTEN… we try to control the experience in an effort to avoid this or that, but really… we are trying to avoid a judgment that we think is ‘out there.’ This doesn’t allow us to just flow and allow life to be life and allow the humans to be human.

It’s okay to be human, it’s okay to vomit 🤮 if you gotta vomit.

To resist it, to judge it, only makes the experience even more painful.  

In watching myself puke, there was a playful comedy that emerged; a comedy that saw a beautiful innocence, something that was so beyond my choosing or control.  No need to believe the judgmental thought that said, “I should be able to act differently.” Clearly, that wasn’t reality. 😂

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