Quote: Step out of the cage society built for you, and step back into your own personal sovereignty.
For today’s inSight Letter, I’m going to run through a list of 5 popular fears/excuses commonly used to keep yourself closed, limited, and cut off from what your heart desires most. AND… we’ve posted another 8-minute guided meditation video, below, to go with this; “No More BS Excuses!”
- Failure
“What if it doesn’t work out?” Whether it does or does not work out, isn’t the point. The real point is to learn, grow, and discover new possibilities. In almost all instances, you can be somewhat confident that it’s not going to work out. Meaning, it’s not going to match your idea of what it should look like in the future.
There’s a parasitic belief about failure that thinks it means something about you. In the ego’s quest to validate its identity, it looks to concepts of failure and success to define its worth and value, and it will fail in both directions. Just as much as failure doesn’t mean you are a failure, experiencing success doesn’t mean you are a success.
Failure, in the simplest terms, simply means what we tried didn’t work. Success means what you tried… did work. How do you find out what does work? You explore all the ways it doesn’t work; you fail, willingly. You dive into something and learn, and there is no learning unless you discover what doesn’t work; to succeed, you must fail.
Now, beyond the insanity of looking for validation in success and avoiding rejection in failure, this experience of failure and success… only exists for PLAY; it has absolutely nothing to do with personal identity. The more you think it does, the more you will avoid failure, which is also to avoid success.
- The Unknown
“What if I don’t know what to do or expect?” It’s natural to fear the unknown. Our brains are wired to seek patterns and familiarity as a means of survival. However, the survival that’s being sought after, problematically, is the survival of the ego. I really invite you to investigate the fear of the unknown and see how, or in what ways, you’re just trying to protect the idea of yourself, or what other people think about you.
Just like a failure, the fear of the unknown is often rooted in the ego’s need for control and certainty. The unknown represents a lack of control and the possibility of unexpected outcomes. But the truth is, we can never fully control or predict any situation, no matter how familiar or unknown it may seem. Because of this, the ego tells fearful stories about the unknown to keep you safe. But… there’s no adventure in that, AND, it comes as the expense of you genuinely enjoying your human experience.
Embracing the unknown means embracing the uncertainty (the reality) of Life and being open to the possibilities that come with it. It means taking risks, exploring new paths, and learning from whatever outcome arises. By stepping out of our comfort zones and into the unknown, we can discover new aspects of ourselves and the world around us.
Remember, the unknown is not something to be feared or avoided, but rather a natural part of the journey of life. If we shut ourselves off from the unknown, we also shut ourselves off from ALL the possibilities that exist within the unknown.
- Disappointing Others
“What if I let other people down?” Many people fear disappointing others, whether it’s their loved ones, their boss, their colleagues, or even themselves. This fear is rooted in the ego’s need for external validation and approval. We want to be seen as successful and capable, and the thought of others not seeing us that way makes us hide and not take any risks.
It’s important to recognize that your worth and value do not come from other people’s opinions of you. You are inherently worthy, regardless of what others may think or say. When you prioritize other people’s expectations over your heart’s sincerity, you diminish your power and playful agency in your life.
Additionally, it’s essential to recognize that disappointment is a natural part of life; we all learn from being disappointed. So, don’t rob other people of their learning opportunities. Let them be disappointed so they can grow. No one can please everyone all the time, and there will be times when you fall short of others’ expectations. But this does not make you a failure or a bad person. It simply means that you are human and are doing the best you can at any given moment. Other people’s disappointment, just like my own, is not because of what other people do or don’t do, it’s because I’m encountering my illusions about life that are asking to be seen through. I can either embrace that opportunity or fight it; let others do the same.
As a powerful wake-up call, if you’re ready for it, see if you can understand that if you don’t want others to be disappointed in you, that is you trying to control them. This is like saying, “I want you to see me a certain way. I want you to not be you, but to be how I want you to be.” Release them! So, you can finally come back to ‘you.’
- Comfort in the Familiar
“What if I stay where I am comfortable, and don’t take risks?” It’s easy to stay in our comfort zones where everything is familiar and predictable. However, this comfort often comes at the cost of growth and expansion. The ego loves comfort because it means it can maintain the ILLUSION of safety and control. But in reality, staying in our comfort zones limits our potential and prevents us from experiencing new things.
The ego wants to maintain the status quo because it believes that it is the safest and most secure place to be. But this belief is an illusion; there is no such thing as safety and security in the world of form. Everything is constantly changing and evolving, and the only way to keep up with this change is to step out of our comfort zones and embrace the uncomfortable; which could also just be a form of excitement or enthusiasm for being alive.
Every profound moment of growth, has come from experiencing something uncomfortable; and… here you are, you made it. In the same way, it can be uncomfortable, to be honest, but after all, is said and done, you realize how important and valuable it was.
Stepping out of our comfort zones means taking risks and trying new things. It means challenging ourselves and our beliefs and being open to new experiences and perspectives. By doing so, we expand our minds and our hearts and become more resilient and adaptable in the face of change. This is also a way to master future change, we build the muscles that recognize it’s okay to be uncomfortable; we are simply experiencing something new, and we are growing.
Remember, comfort is not the same as happiness or fulfillment. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and explore the unknown. The rewards are well worth the risk.
- Lack of Self-Belief
“What if I’m not good enough?” You know what? We really need to get better at asking better questions. The funny thing about the mind is that it doesn’t matter which questions you ask; it will look for answers. Just as easily, you could ask, “What if I become good enough?” My goodness, you’ll get an entirely new list of answers that move you forward, rather than backward.
We ask silly and self-limiting questions as a way to keep ourselves safe, to stay in our comfort zone, and avoid the unknown. Really, though, we are just selling ourselves short. For myself, when I see this insight about the types of questions I ask, I realize that the answers I get are not what’s important. What’s more influential is whether I’m asking empowering questions. If I’m not, then I know I’m just lying to myself.
Furthermore, I feel that “self-belief” is extremely overrated and is really just a distraction. Whether I think I can or cannot, isn’t really the point. The real point is what’s sincere, and then move in that direction. And whether it works out or not, it’s still not relevant because I’m going to be learning something along the way. Learning is the point, growing is the point, and playing is the point. I can only do these things if I move forward.
Self-belief? How about getting yourself and just going to play? And as you play, share your love and discoveries with others.
