I received a long voice message today from a woman that I’ve been doing private sessions with, and it brought such a huge smile to my face.
Apart from expressing immense gratitude for life and our time together, she shared an experience that I feel completely encapsulates the transformation I so often encourage.
With laughter in her voice, sharing details about an experience that used to leave her feeling broken, defeated, and painfully rejected, she went through the same experience again and saw something dramatically different. Leaving her with the profound realization of, “Wow! I don’t have to be mad about this.”
It wasn’t about just remembering a cute spiritual phrase, or trying to convince ourselves that all is well, when… that’s really not what we’re seeing. It’s about a complete transformation of what you are seeing, to the point where you don’t see what you used to see, you see something else entirely.
We used to see something (interpreted experience) and the only conclusion was that it meant we were unworthy, unloved, and/or broken. Naturally, to “see that” can only result in PAINFUL emotions which lead us toward pushing away Life and what we crave.
How often, does this happen? Where life happens and the only thing we SEE, is evidence of us not being enough? What does that do for your experience as a human being? Does that help you connect more deeply with others? Does that help you joyfully reach your goals? Does that help you be excited and super grateful about being alive?
Those are some really important questions. And… it speaks to the importance and urgency of truly and heartfully investigating what you think/believe is happening. Also, NO, it doesn’t happen overnight, it’s a process of unfolding and deepening. It takes time to unravel the conditioning that taught us to see ourselves, others, and Life in a completely distorted and painful way.
The Transformation: IS A TRANSFORMATION OF WHAT AND HOW YOU SEE.
Most people think (understandably) that transformation is changing something in the world, in others, or even in yourself. Not realizing, that before you can transform on the outside, before you can have your reality match what your heart craves, you must be able to SEE IT; which is also to stop SEEING in a way that pushes your desired reality away from you.
For example, “I don’t want to feel mad or rejected when this or that happens, so I have to figure out a way to stop this or that happening.”
No… you need to be able to truly and deeply see that when this or that happens, it doesn’t mean what you think it means. The more you can see what is really happening, beyond your innocently conditioned projections, then feeling mad or rejected is simply impossible.
When emotional disturbances arise, play with these questions.
1. What do I think is happening?
2. Is that really happening, or is that just how I see it?
3. What do I think this means about me?
4. Does it really mean that, or this that just how I’ve been trained to think?
5. What if what is happening, isn’t about me at all?
Remember, my friends, your emotions are not responding to what is happening, they are responding to the story you are telling about what is happening.
